Saturday, December 13, 2008

what's in a name

I am seriously thinking of dropping the pseudonym The Purple Panda and fully coming out of the closet, or out of the costume, so to speak. It's not that my full name isn't blazing across the screen right at the top of my page (hello? elisa lorello's storefront???)

Quite frankly, I think my only hesitation is that the photo of Purple Panda is so gosh-darned cute (is it me, or did Sarah Palin ruin folksy talk for everyone?), and I plain like the name. I don't use it anywhere else except on this blog. The number of nicknames I go by otherwise ranges from Leese (my sibs started calling me that way before Bart Simpson coined it for his sis) to Bubs (short for "Professor Bubbles," and no, it's not a bad stripper name).

Besides, lately I've been thinking a lot about Mister Rogers Neighborhood and lamenting that this next generation doesn't have its own Mister Rogers or Neighborhood of Make Believe. To this day, when I am fortunate enough to catch a clip of him saying, "You make each day a special day by just your being you," I tear up -- the LOVE that that man possessed! How blessed we all were to know our "television friend." I think I keep The Purple Panda name as an homage to him, a way to stay in touch w/ my inner child, the one who makes every day a special day by just my being me.

Thank god for You Tube, of course. I get to see these wonderful gems of Fred Rogers in interviews and snippets of shows and Johnny Costa's fabulous piano accompaniment. And talk about names -- is there a more famous "Mister"? Is there one more loved, more cherished, one who has done more for three generations for children, and keeps on doing so thanks to reruns and You Tube? (Not only that, but I've also found some vintage Sesame Street and Electric Company skits that I haven't seen in 35 years -- it's more than nostalgia; it's homecoming.)

So, I don't know. All I can say for now is that the President-Elect isn't the only one running on a platform of change (although technically he's not "running" anymore). I am sensing that 2009 is going to be a year of change for me, and not in bad ways. Among other things, 2009 kicks off my Farewell Tour to my thirties. It's a good time to reflect on and visualize what I want the next decade to look and feel like. I'm already putting those intentions into the universe. Many of them center on my career as a writer. I had written months ago about author Nancy Peacock's advice and inscription to me to "get aggressive" with said career. I think for me, that is coming to mean "make a plan." I had also written much more recently about my theory that the problem is not that we a lacking balance of our writing careers w/ the rest of our lives, but that we are lacking a plan and a decision about just how and where our writing careers fit into our lives, and what kind of honest value we place on it. Thinking out loud and on stream of consciousness here, if I am hiding behind (or in) The Purple Panda, am I devaluing Elisa Lorello, fiction writer, by not shouting out to the masses, "This is who I am!"? Am I hiding?

Or am I just simply afraid of stalkers?

I wonder...

Anyhoo, I am really looking forward to the 10+ hour train ride back to Long Island to spend Christmas w/ my family. It will give me lots of time to stare out the window and think about what's comin' down the pike (or the LIE, since I'll be home until the end of this year...). Heck, maybe I'll ask Mister Rogers what he thinks.

In the meantime, put this on your Christmas/Hanukkah lists, or fill someone's stocking with The Huffington Post Complete Guide to Blogging. I know I want one!

No comments: