the writer and self-control

"Enthusiasm is the vital quality that arouses you to action, while self-control is the balance wheel that directs your action so that it will build up and not tear down."

The next lesson in the Law of Success sequence is self-control, and it couldn't have come at a better time. A friend and fellow author recently wrote a blog post about her experience with a reader who unfriended her on Facebook because he believed that, as a published author (meaning, as someone with a public persona), it wasn't her place to be political. I disagreed with his stance for several reasons, but there is a caveat, a reminder that the internet is "written in ink," and leaves a fingerprint.

What we say and do, and how we conduct ourselves, makes a lasting impression. And that goes for anyone in any profession. We have to be professional. We have to be responsible with our words and our action. Self-control isn't about restraint, it's about integrity.

Participating in civil discourse is vital to being a writer. There's nothing wrong with expressing an opinion on a personal page, be it political, religious, or literary. As writers, we are witness to the world around us. We need to be observers as well as participants if we are to do our job well. If we want to write about things we care about, we have to find out what those things are. We have to expose ourselves to things we don't know, don't like, don't agree with, don't believe in in order to figure out what we do know, do like, do agree with, and do believe in. And these things change over time.

In other words, we need people to disagree with us in order to strengthen what we believe so we can make the best argument (something I tried to instill in my first-year students). The key words in the above quote, the ones Hill didn't italicize, were "build up and not tear down." ("Balance" is also an important word.) Discourse and debate in this country have become destructive--they tear down rather than builds up. We seek to do the former. We seek to build up. We seek to construct.

Napoleon Hill goes on to say this:

"A person with well-developed self-control does not indulge in hatred, envy, jealousy, fear, revenge, or any similar destructive emotions. A person with well-developed self-control does not go into ecstasies or become ungovernably enthusiastic over anything or anybody."

(I think that last bit means stalkers need not apply.)
 
Writers, of all people, know that words carry integrity. It's how we express our opinions that matter, and how we treat others in the discourse.

We don't spam discussion forums, don't bombard people's Twitter and Facebook feeds with "Buy My Book!" all day, every day.
We don't camp outside an agent's office in an attempt to be represented, or send bottles of champagne to reviewers in hopes they'll offer a favorable review.
We don't pick fights with readers who write bad reviews.
We don't publicly trash other authors or genres. (We can have opinions about the quality of writing that disagree with others', and we can express them, but we can do so in a way that keeps our author ethos intact.)
We don't use ad hominem, strawman, and other logical fallacies to attack rather than argue. 

I want to clarify that I'm not advocating for writers go out of their way to not offend anyone. If I believe an injustice is taking place, then I speak out against that injustice, even if it means I lose readers along the way. Because speaking out about the things I believe in is just as vital to my integrity as the manner in which I speak out. If I clam up for fear of losing book sales, then I've lost much more.

Overall, I cannot sacrifice good citizenship for good sales. 

mind-ing the business of writers

Aaron Sorkin has put these words into the mouths of several of his characters: "If you're not smartest guy in the room, then surround yourself with smart people. If you are the smartest guy in the room, then surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you."

Napoleon Hill calls this "creating the Master Mind." Look at any of the most successful leaders in the last century, and you'll see that they are only as great as the people they surround themselves with. Any time you have two or more people collaborating their talents for a common purpose, you have a master mind.

When I was a TA at UMass-Dartmouth, I invited my colleagues (consisting of other TAs, adjuncts, and tenured professors) to the then-Uncle Jon's (now Mirasol's) Cafe once a week (usually Fridays, when we most needed it), where we enjoyed each other's company (and chocolate chip muffins) and talked teaching. We would discuss what kinds of writing our students were doing, what texts we were using, what worked, didn't work, ask questions, and seek advice when faced with a troublesome student or a problematic paper. We would also steal ideas from each other constantly (with each other's permission, of course). I have no doubt that these weekly "coffee klatches" made me a better teacher. Additionally, being a teacher and student simultaneously came with its own kind of enrichment (that more than compensated for the stress). There's something stimulating about being immersed in the very theory you put to practice on a daily basis, something that makes you want to do better, be better.

The same is true for writers.

Writers groups aren't only places to give and receive feedback on drafts in progress. They can be discussion groups of books we've read, genres we'd like to explore, styles we want to try out. And they can be a support system when you're stuck in that writer's mud. I enjoy talking about writing with other writers as much as I enjoy talking about the teaching of writing with other writing teachers. I enjoy their company.

My point is this: the act of writing is often a solitary one, but when it comes to the business of being a writer--specifically, a published author--to be successful, you must surround yourself with a group of smart, talented individuals to make your writing intentions come to fruition. (Of course, you need to have a clear vision of those intentions, but that'll be next week's post.) The whole really is greater than the sum of its parts.

This is especially important for self-published authors, who typically wear the hats of writer, editor, cover designer, publicist, advertiser, web designer, agent, tech support, and more. I was one of those do-it-all self-publishers, mainly because I had no money to hire others to do these things for me. When I give advice to aspiring self-publishers today, I tell them that one thing I would do differently is to learn more up front. If I am going to take on the role of cover designer, for example, then I need to learn everything I can about cover design: Photoshop, graphics, typeface, etc. That means either reading books, taking a beginner's class, or asking someone who knows Photoshop really well to give me a few lessons. Or, I need to come up with working capital to pay someone to design the cover for me, someone who's way better at it than I am.

Were I to self-publish today, I'd hire a cover designer and an editor, for starters (and I'd make sure I had the money to invest in them first). Why? Because another thing I learned from my experience was that I'm pretty bad at graphic design (despite having almost pursued it as a career when I was fresh out of high school) and good at editing, but not enough for the level of excellence I have for my finished product. I'm also not the best organizer and planner. I am, however, good at networking, and I'm a good ideas-person. I can contribute to the development of these things and let someone more talented execute them. That is also the value of a master mind-- the "mind" works collectively, in synergy. We all put something into the soup, or we stir, or even bless it.

As an author with a publisher, I still find master minds invaluable. Consider all of the following:

• My fellow Amazon Publishing authors and I brainstorm ideas about improving websites, taking advantage of social networking and technology to sell more books, and just plain ol' have a good time talking to each other. Each of us is good at something. Some of us are better at some things than others. We all bring something to the table. Best of all, we cheer for and support each other, plug each other's books, blogs, appearances, etc. We are not in competition with each other to sell books; rather, we are in solidarity to sell books.

• My fellow writers and I help each other get past stumbling blocks, workshop a page or two, vent our frustrations and share our successes. I take all my screenwriting efforts to my fellow screenwriters, who make them good. Why I Love Singlehood co-author Sarah Girrell and I can spend hours talking plots, characters, what-ifs. She is the first person I go to for feedback. My twin brother is another.
  

• My relationship with my publisher is such that I am part of their team. It's not "what are you doing for me," but rather, "What can I do for you?" and "Thank you." That sentiment runs both ways.

These groups don't have to be in the same room to be effective. In fact, in each of the above cases, my fellow master-minders are spread out across the country, even overseas. Would I like us to be in the same room? Yes, for the selfish reason of enjoying their company and needing a hug every now and then. But we are every bit as effective virtually as we would be physically. Every single one of them makes my books the best they can be.

Your master mind can also be comprised of those who you don't know personally, but are still in a position to inspire or advise you. In other words, READ. Read whatever you can get your hands on. I never get tired of reading Stephen King's On Writing. I dust off my favorite rhetoric and composition texts when I need to re-charge my battery (and really should start looking at what's new). I take advantage of blogposts, articles, and anything else that keeps me in the loop with the publishing industry and success stories of other authors. I read screenplays, novels in my genre, etc.

No matter where you work or what kind of career you're in, a master mind is a vital and enriching part of your success. If you want to be better at your present job (or you want to advance your career), start meeting with your colleagues or others in your field once a week, every other week, or once a month, be it virtually or physically. If you want to do something more fulfilling with your life, start surrounding yourself with those who can help you make that move. Most important, come to these groups ready to contribute what you can. You always have something to offer.

conference de-briefing

A new blog post can be quite intimidating if you've been away from it for awhile. I've returned from an incredible three weeks in Southampton, NY with writers block not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say. I already know that this post won't do any of it justice, so I'll just generally sum up.

Some things I learned (or affirmed) about myself as a writer during this conference, in no particular order:

• I'm a storyteller, and my stories are driven by character and a what-if.
• Screenwriting and novel-writing suit me well. Short story-writing does not.
• My bachelor's degree in psychology was money well spent.
• I have a hard time grasping the concept of "literary".
• I'm very proud and appreciative of my rhetorical training and perspective.
• My insecurities about (not) being "well read" have resurfaced. (Then again, I grasp the concept of "well read" about as easily as I grasp the concept of "literary".)
• A classroom is a special space. So is a Long Island beach.
• Ice cream cures writers block. (Rather, it makes you not give a damn about it.)
• Man, and I can get paid for this!
• Revision is still my favorite part of the process. So is the thinking part. And, when the time is right (and it needs to be just right), so is the talking-it-out part.
• I have to serve myself as a reader before I can serve any other reader(s).
• I'm on the right track.

Maybe some of these resonate with you. I don't think you need a conference or a class or a workshop or even an MFA to discover these things. But it's quite validating when you do so in the company of other writers and writing teachers. At least it was for me.

As I take this week to work on my syllabus for the fall semester, I will be thinking about this blog as a classroom space and get back to the teaching of writing here, too, starting with character. I can't wait to share what I learned about protagonists and antagonists!

Happy writing, folks. And take my word for it on the ice cream.

a writer gives thanks

A writer gives thanks...

...when the writing is going well. Those days usually come in spurts, and are sporadic.

...when the writing is not going well. That's when we get all our housework done, catch up on correspondence, clean out the closets, and take long walks. And then, in the middle of all that, an idea, an image, or a voice appears.

...when the voices in our heads get louder. It's not a sign of insanity, but rather that it's time to begin a new novel, or story, or play, or film, or essay, or poem.

...when the voices quiet down. That means it's time to sleep. Or revise.

...when we call the work "finished" (even though, in our minds, it's never really finished). Mentally, we may feel like we've just given birth. But we also celebrate as if we've just given birth.

...when our writing goes not into a drawer, but into the hands of a real live reader.

...when a reader lets us know that s/he loves what we've written. Our hour, day, week, month, year is made.

...when a reader lets us know that s/he hates what we've written. We now have the inspiration to write a story about a character who gets a piano dropped on him/her. Or has to sit through a marathon of the worst sitcom episodes ever. Or has to drink that cherry 7-Up. Flat.


And, on a personal note, this writer (yours truly) gives thanks to (and for) all of you who made this year so fantastic. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.