check all egos at the door

I really want to write a post about writing today, but not before I tell you how blown away I am by the response Faking It has received just one week after its AmazonEncore release. In particular, this Charlotte Observer article has given the Amazon rankings a hefty spike, inspired people to write to me, and made me feel da love. I can't express my gratitude and appreciation enough. It's motivating me to keep working on my latest novel-in-progress.

And if you haven't had a chance to pick up your copy of Faking It yet (have you gone to your local bookstore and asked if they're stocking it?), head over to Book Soulmates and enter to win a copy, plus a dozen roses! Cool giveaway, yes?


So, as I said, I'm grateful for all the attention the book is getting, and it's motivating me to keep writing; but there is a danger to this kind of publicity, and that's the ego slipping into the writing process. In fact, if you want writer's block, invite the ego in.

Aaron Sorkin has publicly spoken about being terrified to write "the thing that comes after The Social Network," and I can relate to some degree. Granted, I'm no Oscar winning writer, but I get the fear part. I've written two books since Faking It, but neither have matched its sales numbers. Understandable. They've not been around as long.

But all the ego needs is an excuse, and it doesn't have to be precedent on previous successes. It could be precedent on previous failures, rejections, or just plain ol' doubt whether anything you put on the page will be any good. You want to please your readers. You want them to like what you write. Perhaps you even want them to like you.

But try to conform your writing to that anticipation or desire, and you'll surely come up short. I can't write a character that I think is going to make other people laugh or mad. I can't put words into my character's mouths that I think other people want to hear them say. Ego sometimes makes you do that rather than sitting quietly and listening to what your characters have to say to you. Ego tells you it has to be good, otherwise you're over.

So how do we get past that?

By staying in the present moment, and trusting that the work in progress is exactly what it is and where it needs to be: in progress. That it neither has to be good or bad at this stage, and the only one making a judgment on it at this point is you, so stop that.

By remembering why you write in the first place.

By making sure you like what you write (and that you like you, too!).

And stop comparing it to your other works. We all know how one kid feels when s/he has to live in the shadow of an uber-successful older (or even younger) sibling, and how damaging it can be for parents and teachers especially to compare one to the other. The metaphor of authors' books as their children might be cliche, but it's cliche for a reason. It's a metaphor that resonates. Each book, like each child, is special for reasons of its own. Each one deserves its own love and attention, and needs to be honored for being unique. Fred Rogers's words still comfort me: "You make each day a special day by just your being you." That affirmation applies to our books, our stories, our characters--each and every one--as well as to us.

Embrace the gift of that specialness every time you sit down to write. It'll do wonders for your writing, and you.

many thanks

Tomorrow's the big day. Faking It launches as an AmazonEncore title with a brand new cover (which I love, by the way) and editing, will be available in select bookstores, and will be available in print and Kindle editions.

Who would've thought that, back in June 2009 (when I self-pubbed on Kindle--it had already been a Lulu title for six months), I'd be making such an announcement? Seriously, it's way cool.

But I'm able to make this announcement thanks to you, my readers. You got me to this place. Thanks to your reviews, your word of mouth on Amazon and Facebook and Twitter and Goodreads, your lending your print copies and recommending your Kindle copies to your friends, your selecting it as a book club read, and more, Faking It came into the range of AmazonEncore's radar. The rest is history.

More thank-yous:

Thank you to every single person who made the 99-cent investment and were kind enough to say that they'd have gladly paid more.

Thanks to all those who *did* pay more-- in the early days, significantly more, be it in print or electronic-- and believed it to be worth every penny.

Thank you to everyone who told a friend or family member.

Thank you to every male reader who wasn't ashamed to say that they loved what was essentially marketed as a chick book.

Thank you to every one that wrote me a letter about how deeply touched you were by Faking It, or bothered by Andi's f-bomb usage, or demanding a movie version soon.

Thank you to every woman who fell in love with Devin and every guy who fell in love with Andi.

Thank you to all the Undeletables who also took a chance on it (and me) when you didn't know me very well, and shared your praise of it with 10,000 others (including Aaron Sorkin) presumably "listening".

Thank you to every blogger who wrote about it on their own, or hosted me and let me do the talking. You, too, put Faking It on the map.

Thank you, Stacey Cochran, for helping me get the ball rolling and leading by example.

Thank you, Lulu (and the cool people I met there), for being the first to help me love the book into being.

Thank you to AmazonEncore, for loving the book just as much as I do and wanting to bring continued success to it.

If there's anyone I left out, please know that in my heart, I am profoundly grateful.

for Aaron Sorkin

It seems that I am constantly apologizing for not posting on my blog. I'm sorry for always apologizing. And I'm sorry for not posting more. On the plus side, it's because I've been busy writing posts for other people's blogs and gearing up for the publicity whirlwhind that is coinciding with the AmazonEncore release of Faking It, just a mere dozen days away. On the minus side, I've used up all my good ideas for the blog tour, and blog-posting can be quite time-consuming, especially when you also teach 40+ students and have just as many papers to grade, the average 5 pages long apiece.


The Oscar fog has lifted and the red carpet has been rolled up and taken away, but I'm still basking in the glow of Aaron Sorkin's win for Best Adapted Screenplay, as I'm sure he still is (I always wonder if winners actually take their trophies to bed with them the first few days after winning... I probably would).

I never blogged about my meeting Sorkin back in September of last year. For one thing, it was part of a wave of meeting several people who have had some influence throughout the course of my life, from Patrick McDonnell (Mutts creator who is now getting some attention since his little book The Gift of Nothing just made Oprah's list -- it's on mine as well) to David Newell (aka Mr. McFeely from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, who took the time to follow up and send me some potential teaching materials). But for another thing, I didn't want to make a big deal about it. It was a personal thing, and I didn't want to attach any fanfare to it.

Unlike getting a tweet from my teen love John Taylor (in response I did a happy dance around my apartment and immediately posted about it on Facebook -- I recall a lot of exclamation points), I wasn't the least bit starstruck when I tapped Sorkin on his shoulder following a Q&A at an advanced screening of The Social Network, which I was fortunate to attend. I'd been visualizing that moment for months-- not as a fantasy, but more like something already actualized. I'd made it an intention to meet the writer who's given me so much inspiration, and had sensed it was going to happen during my fantastic "Year of Turning 40."

We didn't have a chance to say much to each other -- he, Jesse Eisenberg, and Armie Hammer were on their way to another screening/Q&A scheduled the same evening -- but he recognized my name from my interaction on the now-extinct Facebook discussion forum, took my hand, and seemed as genuinely pleased to finally meet me in person as I was to meet him. If I'd had more guts, I would've asked to tag along on the way to the next screening just so we could chat some more. But alas, I'm not that daring. Besides, in that moment, I wasn't a fan. I haven't been for quite some time (that's not to say I've lost admiration for his work -- far from it). I don't know if I would consider myself a colleague, or even a friend -- neither of those labels feel accurate either. I suppose I was just one writer meeting another writer.

Following Sorkin's Oscar win, one of my dear friends (whom I met via Facebook thanks to that aforementioned now-extinct discussion forum, along with about 30 other darling people, some of whom I still have yet to meet in person, although it certainly doesn't feel like that) called me and left a message: "We met an Academy Award winner (he had met Sorkin during the TSN premiere in NYC, which about 16 of our group attended, meeting each other in person for the first time, yet feeling like we'd just seen each other the day before). How cool is that?"

Yeah, it is cool.

It's cool not because it's Aaron Sorkin, but because the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. My friends and I felt like we had watched this movie unfold from pregancy to birth, watched it grow up and graduate with honors. Kind of like honorary aunts and uncles. And Aaron was gracious enough to let us be a part of it for that short time. We're proud of everyone who was directly involved with the film (and although Tom Hooper was certainly deserving of his Oscar for The King's Speech, I was bummed that David Fincher didn't win for Best Director). But we're more touched by what we've come to mean to each other. I stood up and cheered (actually, it was more like a YAWP) when Sorkin's name was called, and remained standing while he said his thank-yous, my hand lightly tapping my heart.

I hope to meet Mr. Sorkin again, and this time exchange more than cordial hellos. I think there's much to talk about, none of it having to do with Facebook or The Social Network. I just like talking to writers, I guess.

If I had the chance to say anything to him right now, I'd say this:

Congratulations, Aaron -- you did it! Way to go. I know you're afraid of what comes next, that anything you write will be known as that-thing-you-wrote-after-The-Social-Network, and will be held up against TSN (probably not unlike the way Studio 60 was that-thing-you-wrote-after-The-West-Wing). Just do it, just write. Keep doing what you always do--writing the best you can, what you like--and allow it to be whatever it turns out to be. Then write the next thing. And the next.

From one writer to another.

week-end...

Friends, forgive me for not keeping up this week with blog tour information. (If you follow me on Twitter -- and if you don't, please do! -- or if you belong to Faking It Fans on Facebook, then you got the posts.) This was a crazy week with meeting with students to discuss their drafts individually. Seeing 40+ students in a three-day period is a mentally (and even physically) exhausting endeavor. However, I enjoy that one-on-one time, and there always comes a moment when I marvel over the writing and revision process, especially when a student's eyes open during the brief conversation. Yesterday I actually geeked out while discussing rhetorical situation with a student.

So, even though the giveaways are done (and congratulations to all the winners!), I'm going to provide you with the blog posts so you can enjoy the reading as well as the fun comment responses.

RJ Keller's blog showcased a chronology of Valentines, and we surmised that as we get older we figure out what it's really all about.

On Rob Kroese's blog, we made our case for WILS as a book for guys (and I'm glad a guy won the giveaway -- we hope he likes it!). In hindsight, perhaps we could've made our case better had we included more explosions...

Finally, Elspeth Antonelli's blog featured Sarah's and my relationship in the context of writing and revision. We especially enjoyed reading and responding to some of the comments.

Stay tuned for upcoming features and appearances. With the re-release of Faking It just around the corner, exciting times loom.

On behalf of Sarah and myself, thank you to all of our blog hosts, commenters, readers, fans, and ebook winners. We had a blast this week!

blog tour stop: Chick Lit Central

Today we're at Chick Lit Central. Sarah and I share our favorite Valentine memories that didn't involve the need to be in a romantic relationship. Please do check it out, and leave a comment to enter the giveaway. An ebook copy of Why I Love Singlehood could be yours!

And, if you haven't done so yet, read Sarah's guest post "A History of Valentines" right here!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

special guest post: A History of Valentines

Today kicks off a week-long blog tour to promote Why I Love Singlehood. We'll be appearing on one blog a day, and I'll announce each appearance and link per day, so check in on a regular basis. It's worth your while if for no other reason than to win an ebook edition of WILS -- that's right, we're doing giveaways all week.

Most of you know that WILS begins on Valentine's Day; thus, my co-author and I thought this would be a good week to shine the spotlight on the book and share some of our thoughts about what Valentine's Day has come to mean for us. Moreover, we maintain that WILS is neither a dating novel nor a romance novel, nor even solely a women's novel. It's a love story. It has always been a love story.

And so, the first guest blog post takes place right here. It was written by my co-author and dear friend, Sarah Girrell. Enjoy.

A History of Valentines

Although Why I Love Singlehood was neither Elisa nor my first attempt at coauthoring (nor our first attempt at coauthoring with each other), it still posed quite a learning curve. Part of what made writing WILS so challenging was that as we moved through the plot, we had to explore what we really thought about relationships and where we stood on Valentine’s Day. Not surprisingly, we weren’t always on the same page (to say nothing of what our characters wanted or needed).

But I think, in retrospect, that our discord was a good thing. It forced us to really hash out our ideas, explore motivation and explanation, and reconsider those things which we originally held true. And, in the end, I think we both learned a little bit from our cast of characters.

This Valentine’s Day, as I pass seas of red-bagged candies, I see Kenny’s dad jogging by. When I look at conversation hearts, I imagine them penned in Beulah’s handwriting. And as I consider the holiday, Eva’s voice is in my ear.

When I was little I ached for Valentine’s Day, for the one time of year when it seemed really possible that a secret admirer might emerge and confess his love and respect for me. I dreamed of the days when we would spend countless recesses tucked into some corner of the playground sharing our deepest secrets. I longed to be showered with flowers and made noticeable by someone’s affection, as if his approval alone would make me impervious to zits and name-calling.

Imagine my surprise when, at 17, showered with flowers at school by my boyfriend of the time, I spent the entire Valentine’s Day embarrassed. I worried that my having flowers rubbed it in to all the other flowerless and boyfriendless women out there who, I was sure, were suffering as much as I had when I was single. I spent the majority of the day apologizing for nothing and handing flowers out to my friends.

But it wasn’t always like that. There was a time when Valentine’s Day was my favorite holiday of the year. Not because of the candy and cherubs and chocolates (or the ever garish comingling of red and pink, a combination that still makes my skin crawl), but because our closest family friends would come to spend the long President’s Day weekend with us.

It would start with their arrival after bedtime on Friday night, and the inevitable sneaking of a few cookies before bed. Then, we would spend the better part of one day making home-made valentines for each other, and another subsequent evening sharing them – unwrapping them like presents while we passed around cupcakes and cookies and bags of M&Ms – all talking and laughing at once, eating ourselves into a delicious, sugary oblivion. The rest of the time was spent subjecting our parents to innumerable plays and puppet shows and hosting our own personal “Winter Olympics” – during which we attempted to cram as many winter activities as possible into one day…skating, snow angels, forts and fights, cross country skiing and sledding galore – after which all participants were awarded with hot chocolate and an evening movie marathon.

I’ve been thinking about those days a lot this year. Our little conglomerate of families has scattered across several continents and some of us have passed on from this plane of existence. And still, I find my fingers itching to trace out hearts, eyes searching for the flash of glitter, ears longing to hear the crackle of doilies being pulled apart. Maybe that’s why this year I’ve decided to make my staff and patients mini-cupcakes to mark the day. At first I nearly balked at the idea, afraid that bringing any semblance of romance into the office might be awkward or inappropriate, but I’ve tossed that fear aside.

Because what I rediscovered while writing WILS is what my family had shown me all those years ago: Valentine’s Day isn’t about flowers and chocolates and whether or not you’re attached to anyone. It’s about celebrating the presence of love in the world, and taking advantage of the opportunity to make others smile.

So this year I’m going to do just that – one mini-cupcake at a time.

Interview with author Dawson Vosburg

At the same age I was dancing around my room and singing into hairbrushes, Dawson Vosburg was busy writing--and publishing--novels. This teenage author loves good books and good writing, and is already well on the road to producing both. Dawson took the time to answer some of my questions, plus share a new idea: sponsor a writer.
Take a look:

Tell us a little about your writing process.

I do NaNoWriMo every year, and usually it produces something usable. Double Life and upcoming Incognito were both written during NaNoWriMo. All of my first drafts are written in less than two months. Sometimes I'll procrastinate, then write the rest in a few days or weeks (like with my second book Terminal Velocity, also published now). Then I let it rest, read it, then edit the heck out of it several times till I like it (really, it doesn't get any more organized than that). Send it to an editor, read it over one last time, and there you have it!


Tell us a little about your influences.

The biggest influence on the Josiah Jones books has been Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl series. That really made me think that a secret agency book can be better than the typical and have a different feel to them. I really love Artemis Fowl, especially the early ones, because the characterization is so spot on.

I think, though, overall, my favorite influences are in the arena of fantasy. C. S. Lewis, J. K. Rowling, and J. R. R. Tolkien are the three Great Fantasy Writers in my mind. They all have the initials--I always wondered what was up with that. (laughs) Maybe I shoul be D. P. Vosburg. Erm...no.

What made you take the self-publishing route? Is there anything you would do differently?

I found out about self-publishing by web searching, long long ago. December of 2007. It was amazing to me that you could just put a book out yourself, with none of the submission crap I saw in the traditional industry. So I jumped on board faster than you could say "Lulu." Which was my first publisher.

There are lots of things I wish I would have done differently. Of course you always want to go back and fix things in your story, and there's plenty I'd like to fix. But as far as publishing goes, I wish that
1. I had discovered Kickstarter.com earlier,
2. I had given myself more time, and
3. I had more of a network to go with and had taken the time to attain all the knowledge I have now.


Tell us a little bit about this latest project (sponsor a writer). How did you get involved with it? Who's idea was it? How's it going so far? What is your goal?

I'm using Kickstarter.com (mentioned above) to raise funds for my next big book project called Incognito. Kickstarter is where people can back creative projects by pledging money for a project they like and support. If the project attains the money goal within the set timeframe, they receive the money. If they don't, no money changes hands. I heard about it from my (amazing) older brother David, who is himself in the creative industry of design. I decided myself to use it as the way to fund my next publishing venture.

I've really been locked down in the past as to how much I could do because of limited funds. I went into debt to my parents to buy books and barely made back enough to pay them back, and I really couldn't go that much further than that. Everything I wanted to do had a pricetag. Now that I've found Kickstarter it looks like that problem is pretty much solved.

The goal is to raise $3,000 total. It's been slow to start off--I didn't really have a convenient way to convey the message. Recently, though, with a video my brother David helped me produce, I've been getting new pledges every day for the past few days. We'll see how that gets going.

Thanks so much, Dawson, and best of luck to you!

To sponsor Dawson, please click here.